it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
