I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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