Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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