Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
