shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
