Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
