that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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