Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
love makes seman taste better
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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