I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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