dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
