You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
