Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
