I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
