he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
