ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
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