Don't you send me to vm
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
