I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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