She said her name was "party"
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
