my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
