get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I need to wash the frat house off of me
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
