Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
