Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
