So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
