1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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