All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
