I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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