God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
