dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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