i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
