Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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