u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
