This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Can you bring me the toilet please
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
