Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
