dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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