im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
