problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
