and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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