How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
