I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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