but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
All I want is dick and wine.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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