Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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