Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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