Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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