It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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