well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
