People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
