garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
