upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
