They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
