Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize