Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
