So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
