I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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