Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
