so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
