i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
