I love black thongs
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
