God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
