Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Say something about gay babies.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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