Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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