yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
